Katie and David were the best of friends. They shared many common interests and spent a lot of time with each other. Although Katie regarded their relationship as purely platonic, David developed romantic feelings for Katie after some time. This made Katie uncomfortable at first, but as David promised that this would not affect their friendship in any way, Katie agreed to put her concerns aside.
Things between Katie and David were great, until Katie also began spending time with another friend, Peter. David then became jealous of Peter and often badmouthed Peter in Katie’s presence. As David’s animosity towards Peter was one-sided and irrational, Katie became increasingly uncomfortable with his behaviour. Katie could also sense that David was pressuring her to end her friendship with Peter. Katie knew that she should confront David about his behaviour, but as she did not know how to approach the matter, she chose to suffer in silence.
Soon, Katie could no longer stand being pushed and pulled in the middle and reckoned that the only way to escape her predicament was to end her friendship with one of them. She then decided to cut ties with David as she could not stomach his negativity any longer. Without warning, Katie began to avoid David altogether. She rationalized that going “cold turkey” was the only way to end David’s attachment to her. Unfortunately, her rash decision and action brought about newfound hostility towards her from David. Till this day, Katie deeply regrets how things ended with David. Alas, she feels that too much time had already passed to mend things and have a proper closure with him.
As shown from this story, it is often difficult to make the best decisions in the heat of a crisis. Thus, it is my belief that fresh perspectives from outsiders are extremely helpful in dealing with our inter-personal conflicts. What would you have done, if you were Katie, to minimize hurt for all parties?
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ReplyDeleteHi May,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I would say that the post is slightly above 250 words? Judging from the content that you have to write, the length is quite reasonable. The blog is quite clear and the coherence from paragraph is quite well established.
Your conclusion was that it is difficult to make the best decision when in the heat of a crisis. I agree with your beliefs however, sometimes, what the outsiders think might not necessary be the best solution though. With these advices in hand, one still has to think through it before taking any actions.
What Katie chose was to "hide" from reality and ignore David. As seen in the situation, David became negative. There is a chance that the David feels that Katie is avoiding him because she likes Peter rather than the actual reason that Katie has.
If I am Katie, I will probably choose to talk to David about how I feel about his attitude towards Peter. I am sure being childhood friends, he will understand. =)
Hi May!
ReplyDeleteOn a trivia point I think this pink blog-skin suits you to a tee. ;) I must say this is a very clear post. The little anecdote is quite free of excessive frills. It does sound a bit like what you would write to a Teen's Magazine of Ask the Love Guru. Perhaps some of us have also personally experienced situations like Katie's, whereby we are afraid to tell the other person our feelings because of a fear that the person won't understand, things will get awkward and the relationship will turn bitter. However, our exact avoidance of the issue is the real reason for the drift in relationship. I must really agree that it is so important to ask advice from people. We don't always make the correct decision ! 4 years ago, I would have done exactly what Katie. But after going through University (and ES2007S) and seeing relationships turn sour because of such (in) action, I will choose to clarify with David. I suppose how that can be done may require another blogpost. Maybe you'd like to consider having a sequel to this blogpost! - What Could Have Been If Only. :)
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteLove the post, it was clear and very complete. and one R. Real. I think situations like that happen more often then we'd like? and (in my opinion) its because the parties involved are not mature enough. In this case it is the guy. If I were Katie i would have gone straight to David and let him know how his behavior is making me feel, then give him a choice to either be my friend and support me or not be friends at all. I think this would have been better then just ending it with him. In this case even if it ended, she'd know that at least she tried to save their friendship. :)
As your other readers have noted, May, this is a very clear, complete and coherent post on the problem between Katie and the two guys. Your language fluency and flair is noteworthy as well. Good job.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that your question is clear. That directs the thoughts of the reader toward a possible solution. Of course, you could have worked this in a way that Katie's approach and final decision were not revealed. It might have been better to have us speculate what Katie should have done.
Given the way you have handled it though, you might have explained how the relationship with David has "ended," then asked how such an ending (assuming it's negative and assuming that Katie wishes it were different) could have been avoided.
From looking at the comments, that seems to be the way your classmates have interpreted the dilemma. Thanks for initiating the discussions.
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteWhat I would like to say is that this is really a pity ending for both parties.If I were Katie, I might be involved into the same situation. I think one part of the reasons was because Katie chose to hide the question and let it unsolved rather than face it. If I were her,
I would probably do as followed:
First of all, I would confirm with David that I didn have a feeling with him, and no possibility to develop the feeling in day to day friendship. It sounds a bit cold but I think it could be better that we do not have misunderstanding about our friendship.
Secondly, when David said something gossip about Peter, I would also try to talk with him that if as a friend, pl don do things like this to my friend.
After all the talkings, if David still acts like that I would prefer to talk with him in the end, telling him why I would like to keep a distance with him for a while and the his actions after the above two steps really disappointed me. And if he changed, there could be a possibility for us to get back to our relationship before.
This is my solution so far I could think of, even though I don know whether it could work our or not.