May Tun,
Blk 123 Kiwi Drive,
Singapore 123456,
H/P: 12345678,
Email: contactme@gmail.com.
Date: 1 September, 2010.
Ms. Jane Smith,
Human Resource Manager,
A-LAB Technologies,
Jurong East, Singapore.
Dear Ms. Smith,
Application for Business Analyst Position
I am writing with reference to your advertisement in the National University of Singapore (NUS) eJob Centre for want of a business analyst. I consider that my credentials and interests match your requirements and hope to begin a career in your organization upon graduation in May 2011.
As indicated in the enclosed resume, my keen interest in the engineering field has led me to pursue my Bachelor’s Degree in Industrial and Systems Engineering from NUS. During the course of my study, I have developed strong analytical and communication skills through involvement in many different projects. One recent example would be my industrial project with TECH Semiconductor, in which my team and I had to solve an optimization problem involving the Preventive Maintenance scheduling. The experience has allowed me to develop my technical skills; as well as obtain other invaluable skills such as the ability to motivate a team and liaise with professionals.
Besides excelling in a team, I have also acquired good programming knowledge, namely Visual Basic in Excel, C/C++ programming and Auto Mod Simulation, which would deem essential in the position of a business analyst. Furthermore, I would be able to offer my extensive knowledge of inventory management, statistics and simulation required in this position. My past working experiences in the government and service industries have also taught me how to deal effectively and pleasantly with people from all walks of life. As an assistant tax officer in Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore, I had the opportunity to learn to make fast and sound decisions and interact with the taxpayers, as well as the managerial staff.
I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to discuss how my education and experience will be helpful to your organization. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours sincerely,
May Tun
Enclosed: Resume
EDITED
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteA clear and concise letter you have presented. You have stated on the important skills that you have that would be beneficial for the employer, clearly showing the "you" attitude. Accurate format, straight to the point. I like this cover letter of yours.
A little suggestion would be that you can include a little more description of your past jobs - job nature, appointments. Think it would make the letter more interesting to read.
Cheers! =)
Hey Stanley, thanks for the feedback. Ok, I will work on adding that. By the way, I have a question for anyone who can answer. Is "business analyst" a proper noun in this case? Should it be in capitals or small letters? Thanks in advance!
ReplyDeletehi may,
ReplyDeleteI think it was very clear and concise cover letter. You did not beat round the bush and presented what you had to well. I agree with stan that past job description would do you good. i also need to add that to mine!! :) otherwise it's a good piece.
cheers.
Nice one, May.
ReplyDeleteElegante.
Excuse me? "...keen interest in ... Engineering..." I thought I heard someone complaining about her course that day eh.. ^^
Anyway,I agree. It's very concise and clear. Courteous and very you-attitude-d.
Yea, it will be great if you can elaborate more on the government and service industries and what you have learned from the industrial project.
Hey guys,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the feedback. They are really helpful. I never really thought of that. Anyway, I edited a little..
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteThe cover letter is really clear in terms of its intention. Ideas that were presented in the cover letter were coherent and each individual paragraphs did not seem to stick out from one another.
I do, however, have some concerns over the tone of the letter in terms of courtesy. Nothing major, just some minor issue. I was just thinking if the opening phrase "As indicated in my resume" in the second paragraph would be a way bit too intrusive to the reader as you try to draw reference to your attachment?
Hi dear May,
ReplyDeleteI love the way you titled your blog~~hehe
I think the cover letter is very clear and has already grab the attention of me.
I think the cover letter comes before the resume,
"indicated in the enclosed resume, my keen interest in the engineering field has led me to pursue my Bachelor’s Degree in Industrial and Systems Engineering from NUS. During the course of my study, I have developed strong analytical and communication skills through involvement in many different projects"
So how about just state your interest and remove the "indicated" part. About the language, I did not see the ad so I did not know their requirement for the language, maybe you could state that if this language you don need, I could hands on other languages very quickly.....because of my past background...hehe
All in all, a very good cover letter!!!